Easy as A B C…

Back to the Basics

Learning a new language is no easy task.  Rather, it is quite arduous and also a humbling experience.  To be without the crucial ability of communication is frustrating, but within the frustration motivation is bred.  I find that I am having to access a part of my brain that has laid dormant since my junior year in high school.  It is amazing how the brain works in learning a new language though.  Phrases and vocabulary from high school Spanish I thought were long forgotten have resurfaced, which to my dismay, can sometimes be convoluting to my Hindi learning.  Though the languages are entirely different, when trying to remember a word in Hindi I automatically revert to Spanish by default.  Fortunately this should fade with time.

Going through the language learning material I have determined that I am basically back in kindergarten.  Unfortunately the naps and recess time are much less frequent.  My time is once again spent with flash cards, alphabet posters, and children’s books.  Repeated writings of letters on lined paper was something I thought was finished long ago.  However childish the tactics may be, I must say that they are effective in acquiring the language.  Pouring through the flash cards I constantly have to “sound it out”.  Hopefully by the hundredth time I will be able to say “Brother” without unintentionally saying “Maid”.  As you may suspect this can lead to some odd looks and awkward situations.

Perpetual Awkwardness

This has simply become a part of daily life.  As a tall, pale skinned, red head I don’t exactly blend in with the people.  Throw in an ignorance of social norms, butchered Hindi phrases, and a consistent confusion about everything else going on and I am again an awkward and self-conscious kindergartner.  For example the other night I was invited to a wedding reception.  I was excited to attend but I was unsure of how to dress.  Wanting to blend in and be culturally consistent I put on my newest kurta.  Of about 100 people I was one of two wearing the garment.  Being laughed at for the wrong reasons is a gift I have acquired recently.  Kurtas are not everyday wear so I assumed this must be an occasion where one might dress in the traditional garb. Turns out men just don’t wear kurtas too often.  I am yet to find when an appropriate time would be to wear one without sticking out.  I’m certain that I will complete the cycle by not wearing one on an occasion when everyone else is.

During the reception I was also told I should go around and talk to people to practice my Hindi.  To be honest I was very reluctant to do so and I believe with good reason.  Braving the confusion and uncomfortable situations of everyday encounters is one thing, but intentionally inviting it in is a whole other beast.  I would be just as self-conscious to approach someone who spoke English if I knew I was going to babble like an idiot and perhaps mutter a few intelligible sentences.  The deference is also to spare some poor Indian from suffering through a “conversation” with the foreign guy.  But so is life here India.  To fully comprehend the social complexities is extremely difficult if not impossible for westerners.  I must simply learn to embrace what is before me and keep moving along, bag full of awkwardness in tow.

What doesn’t kill you…

After a month I am beginning to get settled into the Indian lifestyle.  As I adapt to my new surroundings I find there are many things that I have taken for granted growing up in the United States.  Some of these things were always assumed and I did not even realize I was taking them for granted or ever thought I would have to find ways to get by without them.  Others things, like the simple act of communication, which I am finding myself perfectly inept in performing, are more difficult to overcome. This is only partially due to the spoken language itself.  If I were to know all the words and grammatical structure of Hindi some things would surely still fly over my head.  Much like the aforementioned idiom might fly over many Indian’s heads even if they were to know all the words and grammar of the English language.  Over the weeks this has taught me a great deal in patience and trust as I battle with what has now become “mundane”.

Washing clothes:  To be honest this part of life is not so difficult.  We have a washing machine to use and for that I am very thankful, but how am I suppose to dry my clothes. There must be some type of machine for accomplishing such a task. I surely am not supposed to leave them to air dry, right? Well, that is exactly what I have to do.  This certainly is not difficult but it is a lesson in patience as 90% humidity is not exactly conducive to the effort.  At least I don’t have to walk across the street to the river and beat my clothes against a rock to get them clean.  No exaggeration, this is what some people have to do.

Diet:  You have no idea what I would do for a turkey sandwich right now (insert cold turkey pun).  The diet here is much more simple.  Yes, there are many types of foods but most meals are very similar.  By that I mean I eat the same thing pretty much every day: Sabzi (potatoes, cauliflower and peas medley with curry), rice with daal (I have no idea what this is made of), and some roti (think tortilla, but not exactly) to scoop it all up.  Notice there is no meat in the typical meal; this has led to dreams of tacos. I joke but I do try to be thankful with what is available especially when there are reminders all around of those who go hungry.  It has been a lesson I’m still learning in being content with what is enough.

Social Interactions:  This is something I will probably never fully learn and has led to some uncomfortable situations.  It’s like that awkward moment when a sentence doesn’t end like you think it wombat.  (As a disclosure I did not come up with that previous sentence but it perfectly describes how some moments feel, you’re left saying “Huh?”).  For example, a few days ago I met with someone who is teaching me Hindi.  I asked when we could meet again and he said he would call me today.  I assumed that meant he would call me today and we could arrange a time to meet, however this was quite presumptuous of me.  My friend did call and said he was coming, I asked if he could wait an hour so I could eat lunch, he said he was at my front door already.  Needless to say lunch was postponed.

What is normal:  Redefining normal is necessary for an American to survive in India. Here is a list of normal things I’ve had to adjust to:

Being touched by strangers

Getting stared at

Getting ripped off

Arguing with taxi driver about being ripped off (Exercising futility)

Loud noises all the time (Fireworks, barking dogs, people yelling)

Death defying motorcycle rides without a helmet

Slow Internet

Downloading attachments at 10 KB (On a good day)

Having poop on your shoe

Getting cut in line

A monkey on your roof (see photo below, not my actual roof but you get the point)

Cow’s obstructing traffic

Asking myself “What’s that smell?”

Looking like an idiot 20 times a day

Proposing to strangers when someone gives you a line to say in Hindi

These things are mostly humorous but there are other more serious things as well where I have had to redefine normality.  Particularly what is poor.  In America what is considered poor would be considered healthy middle class in India.  There are pictures below from my apartment’s balcony.  You can see the upper middle class apartments overlooking what is truly poor.  There are absolutely people struggling in America but if you were to compare the situations and the living conditions there is a major difference.  I don’t mean to be a downer but I also don’t want to brush over the situation.  If the statement “What does not kill you makes you stronger” is true, then these people are probably amongst the strongest.  My struggles pale in comparison.

As the time goes on I hope to become more acclimated and comfortable in my surroundings.  It may be tough, but hopefully with a little grace I will be able to more easily cope with the daily struggles of life overseas.  Sometimes I may have to both metaphorically and literally brush my shoulders off.  The meaningless things that could become frustrating I must learn to look past and focus on my goals and hopefully, through this experience, I might become a more rounded person with a better world view.

And, of course the monkey mentioned above:

Le Tour de Lucknow

In this past week I have determined there are two ways to get to know a new place.  One, have someone who knows the area show you around and two, dive into the unknown and see where it takes you.  Now, when you do not speak the language the latter can be somewhat intimidating yet rewarding in the adventure it offers.  As for the first way you may find that you can travel with a little more purpose and efficiency in reaching a predetermined destination.

This week I got to see and do some of the more touristy things around the city of Lucknow.  I found myself impressed with what the city had to offer.  My assumptions were that Lucknow was primarily a “city” city.  As the capitol of Uttar Pradesh, which happens to be the most populous state in the world, I assumed it would mainly be a political hub.  Lucknow certainly is that, but often where political strongholds emerge there is history there also.  Which leads us to our first stop in the tour of Lucknow to a place called “The Residency”.  Now, I am not a historian but I did manage to collect a few facts about the place.  To the best of my knowledge The Residency is where British diplomats and military resided during their occupancy of India.  At first they were there to protect interests concerning the British East India Company but after time tensions began to mount as one can expect.  In 1857 The Residency went under siege and a battle was fought.  The mansions and palaces of The Residency were left in ruins and as far as I know it has remained uninhabited to this day, unless you are counting the massive graveyard.

The next place we went to was a mosque called Bara Imambara.  I cannot tell you too much about it other than what it is, there is an actual maze inside of it (I am not sure why), and that it is truly a beautiful building.  The landscaping is breathtaking and the buildings themselves are stunning.  Tons of arches and ornate stonework adorn a truly massive structure.  It is better to look at photos than for me to try and describe it:

Thirdly, and my personal favorite, was Dr. Bhimrao Ambedkar Memorial Park.  It is the most impressive man made place I have ever been to.  It is absolutely enormous and full of marble and granite everywhere.  It is not the traditional park we would think of in the west, no greenery or fields for running around.  It is all stone, statues, and structures.  The current governor, Mayawati, commissioned the building of the park as a tribute to dalit achievements in India.  For reference, while maintaining brevity, Mayawati is a dalit and dalits are the outcaste of India, considered inhuman and untouchable.  A simple google search will reveal how she has come to power.  Currently up for re-election in the coming weeks has added an interesting climate to the city.  The park is currently closed and all the statues she has had erected of herself and elephants (the symbol of her political party) have been covered up until the election takes place.  Nonetheless, the park is absolutely massive and definitely worth looking up on google maps to get an idea of the size.  If you happen to do so you will notice an undeveloped area across the river.  That part has been covered in granite, marble, and statues since the photo was taken.

Lastly, was the Lucknow zoo.  Now there was nothing particularly interesting about the zoo itself, as it may even be considered lackluster compared to a western zoo.  What is interesting is how I happened to end up there.  As I mentioned at the beginning of this post is that there are two ways to learn a new place.  All the previous places listed I was taken to by someone who knows where they are going, but the zoo was a journey into the unknown.  At least in the sense of knowing how to get there.  I was out with my friend Tj, who was the tour guide for the previous locations, when he stops the motorcycle and tells me I have a task to do.  In a lesson in navigation I was told I needed to make it to the zoo and then home with eggs, starting from our current location, which was unknown to me, and to a destination that was also new.  After a point in the right direction from Tj I was on my own.  I managed to make it fairly easily and met some interesting people along the way as well.  As a fan of the amazing race it definitely made for an interesting afternoon.

The week has been full of traveling and excitement but now it is time for the real work.  I have already begun some language learning and will be continuing throughout my time in India.  A large part of language learning is building contacts of people you can speak to on a regular basis.  This is a process that has already begun but now comes the tough part of actually sitting down, cracking open the book, and doing whatever I can to become as fluent as I can in Hindi.  India is always full of adventure even in the mundane so do not worry, I am sure this country will keep the updates entertaining.  I vow not to tell you what I learn in Hindi from week to week unless it is an interesting part in this unraveling story.

Lessons in Hindi:

If there is one thing that I have learned for certain during my time in India it is the element of surprise.  The country has a way of throwing you off your guard even once you thought you had your bearings.  There are things I have become accustomed to that would make westerners blush or even horrified (e.g. public urination, stray dogs everywhere, or a lack of personal space). However, India never fails to surprise me in new ways consistently.  Part of it is due to ignorance about the country I thought I knew so much about.  Things I could have easily researched but did not.  But mostly it is due to a tenacious spirit of the people. The will to survive, advance, and grow as a community and aspire to bigger and better things.  There is a great sense of esteem that you can see amongst the people.  The more I am here the more I see it and am aware of how the people function.  Not just as individuals, but as a collective organism working together.  The more time I spend here the more I observe, the more I observe the more I learn.  Some observations may be humorous and others more serious, but all have become great memories.  Here are a few things that I have picked up on along the way:

Motorcycles are a Family Vehicle:  In a country of 1.2 billion you have to make adjustments and sacrifices.  The state of Uttar Pradesh where I will be for the next few months has a population of 200 million (2/3 of America) in a space about half the size of Texas.  Also, when money is limited sometimes a motorcycle is all that can be afforded and, when real estate on the road is also limited, it again is all that can be afforded.  So far the most I have seen on a bike is five but I was also impressed today by a family of four with a large bag and a guitar in tow as well.  “Suffering” musicians are not on private jets, but Honda Heroes with three other people holding on tight.  Here is a photo of a family of three taken by my friend Kim:

Pride:  The people of India have much of it.  Some of it is bad.  Some of it is good (and yes, there can be a good kind of pride depending on how you define it). In a country where status is everything having the “Latest and greatest” is a luxury for the few (and very few indeed) wealthy.  If, as an American, you are upset about the 1% keep in mind in India it is the .001% (this is a rough estimation for the sake of argument).  Status can be conveyed in many forms but it is primarily manifested in material things such as clothing, vehicles, or other possessions.  Just like America, many in India are seeking to get to that next level and gain a little more respect and reputation for one’s self. There is also a good kind of pride here and it comes in the form of love for country. There is nothing wrong with loving where you are from, but once you think that makes you better than something or someone else in any way it has turned from a good sense of nationality into pride in its most destructive form.  In my previous post I mentioned a group of young men who helped us try to remove our vehicle from being stuck in the mud.  What I failed to mention was that with every heave they shouted in unison “I love my India!”  As far as they were concerned we are guests in their country and did not want us to leave thinking a lack of hospitality had been shown in any way.  The reputation of India was at stake and they were willing to get covered in mud on a cold night to defend it.  This has been consistent with every place I have ever visited here.  India is truly a great country and if you choose to visit I am confident that you will be heartily welcomed in and taken care of as well.

It is Cold:  This is one of the things I was entirely ignorant of.  I assumed everywhere in India is warm, if not hot, all the time.  Not so in northern India.  I had planned on only bringing t-shirts to wear but at the last minute decided it might be good to have a jacket packed as well.  A trip to the mall and two sweaters and a set of thermal underwear later I can now adequately dress for the weather (like this fortunate goat below).  Also it is not a dry cold like I am used to.  It is foggy and humid which makes it feel even worse.  Being transported via motorcycle or scooter does not exactly warm you up either and it can be disheartening to arrive home to an unheated apartment.  I am not trying to elicit your sympathy here as I do not necessarily mind the cold, I am only becoming more aware of my fondness for warmer climates.

Socks and Sandals are Okay:  I know your jaws are hanging open at the mention of my fashion faux pas but bear with me.  I have mentioned that it is cold here, but what do you do if you are a true Indian man or woman who only wears sandals?  Well, you simply must put your social insecurities aside and sock up and move on.  Also, when your shoes that were caked in mud (see previous post for details) are still trying to dry but cannot because it is so foggy and humid you may not have a choice.  Besides, it looks pretty good, right?

As the days carry on I am excited to see what else I might learn. I know there could be a surprise around every corner and I look forward to whatever may come.  The time here will go by quickly and, if your eyes are not open you may miss something, or a vehicle may hit you.  The latter is certainly a possibility that I seek to avoid, a lesson preferably not learned the hard way. Though I am sure not all lessons may be learned in the preferred manner (as not all lessons are intended to be) it is good to know that all will at least become part of a great story.

Welcome to Lucknow…

Lucknow, India

Well these past 12 days in India have been a blast! The team from back home has departed and I have continued on to the second and much longer leg of my journey. I arrived in Lucknow yesterday in the late afternoon and was met with a cold rain. The cold is normal, however the rain was considered unseasonable. In fact it wasn’t just rain, but apparently it had been storming all day. This would later present a few problems. I was met by my new team member TJ and we made our way back to his house where I met his wife Karen, daughter Chaya, and another team member named Melissa who is on holiday and visiting various friends around India. We spent the next few hours getting to know each other and we were then on our way to have dinner at an Indian family’s home. The dinner was very traditional and delicious, but holding to Indian custom, way more food than I needed to eat. After dinner we began to head home and that is where things got interesting. While driving we took a road that normally would be dirt. However, give it 7 hours of down pour and you then have thick soupy mud. We made it about 1/3 of the way down the street before we got stuck. Not just stuck in a little bit of mud though. The SUV we were in was entirely bottomed out and the tires were pitted in about a solid foot or more of mud. Thus began our efforts to get the vehicle unstuck. Unknowing the severity of the mess we were in Karen, Chaya, Melissa, and I waited on the side of the street to lighten the weight of the vehicle as TJ attempted to drive it out. This was to no avail. At this point we had begun to attract a crowd of around 20 or so Indians who had obviously been celebrating the new year. Everyone was offering up there own opinion on how to get the car out but no one was really doing anything. After a few minutes of talking (but very little communication) everyone sprang into action. We pushed and pulled and dug and put bricks under the tires. All of this was utterly unsuccessful though.

After about an hour and a half Tj decided to get Karen, Chaya, and Melissa into a cab to get them home. He walked with them through the mud to the main street while I remained with the vehicle. This is where Tj’s own adventure began. After getting his family in a homeward direction Tj went to the local police station to solicit help. After explaining our situation the senior constable emerged to hassle Tj but eventually, after much deliberation, decided to help. He also had been celebrating the new year and was not operating quite at full mental capacity but was willing to assist, for a price. After being unable to find a tractor or any other vehicle that could remove the sunken car they resorted to a crane near the police station. The senior constable bangs on the window to find the operator sleeping in the vehicle. Well not the operator, but the operator’s assistant who is not licensed to operate the machinery. The senior officer literally drags him out of the vehicle and tells him he needs him to help tow the vehicle. The man refuses. However, with a little physical persuasion the officer is able to convince the man to help. Meanwhile a newspaper reporter just happens to be near by and has overheard what is going on. He asks Tj if everything is all right and Tj explains the situation. The reporter states that he may not be able to do much but he would be able to print the officer’s name which may keep him from trying to rip us off too badly. Unfortunately the officer sees this taking place and tells the reporter to leave and for Tj to get on his motorcycle. So Tj and the drunken officer make their way back to the vehicle with the crane following behind.  I later asked Tj if riding on the motorcycle with a drunk driver was frightening and he said it is not too abnormal.

Meanwhile I have been sitting with the car in the cold for who knows how long. When suddenly I see a crane rolling down the street and Tj approaching with the police officer. Tj informs me the officer is drunk.  I am not sure what to make of this but it is good to know what is going on. Either way we get into the car as they hook it up to the crane. Using a 3/8″ steel cable attached to the front of the car they begin to tow. I am fairly certain the cable was going to snap and come through the windshield but fortunately it held. At this time the news reporter has made his way to the scene as well. We try to get his number but the crane starts towing and the officer starts yelling and we fail to get it down. The crane manages to pull us to solid ground with the officer right by the side of the car. I get out to go back and get the reporter’s phone number but am stopped by the officer. He tells me to get back into the vehicle and I do as instructed. Tj is then out of the car and speaking with the officer who is now hassling him and trying to make sure we pay him off for his service. The officer asks for 5,000 rupees ($100). Tj tells him he doesn’t have that much cash on him as he had given all his cash to his wife earlier in the evening. So the officer asks him how much he does have and Tj pulls out of his wallet 120 rupees (about $2). Needless to say the officer is not satisfied. After much bargaining and harassing the officer turns to me. He begins to ask me all sorts of questions in Hindi but he is not quite understanding I do not speak the language. Eventually he turns back to Tj and following Tj’s instruction I find 1,000 rupees (which were later reimbursed) and pay off the officer. The officer continued to harass us but eventually let us go after ensuring that we had not been drinking that evening. After a 3 hour ordeal we finally make it home exhausted from the nights events.

So, in the end we were glad everything turned out okay and that no one ended up in jail or getting ripped off too badly. It is certainly not what I was expecting when I first came to Lucknow but it is a night I will never forget. The team has assured me that this is not a typical day for them so hopefully going forward there will be many more an adventure, but no more involving the authorities. I’ve since settled into my temporary home for the next six weeks and am looking forward to begin language learning and immersing myself in the culture. Signing out for now and looking forward to sharing more stories.